Not Good Enough

On occasion, whether it be initiated by someone or something, or because it just simply happens, I get this dreadful feeling that my actions and my life, no matter how hard I try, mean nothing. I want to be good at writing considering the fact that it is the one subject I actually enjoy and can accomplish. Yet, I feel like even my writing is inadequate. I can do it, but I can't do it well enough to be anything special. I want writing to fit into my career in some form or another and am even going to college for it, but at the same time, I feel like it will be a waste of money because once again, I'm not good enough. Although I have nothing against it, I don't want to live a life attempting to survive on a minimum wage job that I don't even enjoy, but at the same time, I feel like that's what I'm going to end up doing anyways because I'm not good enough for anything else. Honestly, if that's the case, I don't really find a point in trying. I know this seems like a rather extreme answer, and I get that it seems incredibly stupid, but it's just the way my mind works. Even though I know this, I still can't change my thoughts on the matter. I don't know what to do. I push myself to do better all of the time, yet it never ends up working, or does it? Do I just perceive myself as not being good enough, or is it the truth?